When I was raising my three kids – now adults with their own kids – my parenting was anything but purposeful. It was very reactive.
I was alone with the three of them and working outside the home with what I believed at the time – a very stressful job in the legal industry.
I wasn’t a life coach with two certifications in life coaching – I was a young mom – with responsibilities and no idea how to manage stress – or even believed I was stressed and if I was – that there wasn’t time to address it.
For me it was about getting up in the morning, getting the kids ready and to the schools, going to work, rushing to get my work done so I could get to the kids’ pickup on time, going home, try to make a meal that was digestible, getting everyone bathed and in bed to start again the next day. Whew!
That was my day. I didn’t think anything of it. It was routine. It was my routine. It was my kids’ routines. It was the norm. It was our norm.
But, I didn’t know then – what I know now. It could have been easier.
Not having had the knowledge of purposeful parenting when I was parenting, I am now a very purposeful grandparent with my three grandkids.
30 years later, older, wiser, and no longer responsible for three kiddoes, I do know better.
It’s my second chance to be intentional and purposeful instead of reactive.
Today
I am intentional about the time and the energy I invest in my grandkids’ lives.
I am intentional about being present and spending quality time with them; whether it’s playing games, reading together, or just having conversations and sharing – yes – even with my 4 and 2 year old grandsons.
I am intentional about teaching them about their heritage.
I am intentional about showing interest in their hobbies and activities.
I am intentional about being a source of comfort and encouragement.
I am intentional about listening to their concerns and providing a safe space for them to express themselves.
I am intentional about encouraging them to try new things and be independent. Although I’ll admit this is the hardest one for me.
I am intentional about leading by example. They learned how to say please and thank you because I always lead with please and end with thank you.
I am intentional about keeping an open communication with the three of them – beginning with the 16-year-old – and I regularly check in with them.
I am intentional about celebrating their milestones and recognizing their achievements.
And, ultimately leaving them a beautiful legacy of their Abue as a treasured reminder of my love and purposeful presence in their lives.
P.S. Today is my grandson’s birthday – Happy 5th Birthday James – I love you!!
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“Living with purpose instead of reacting to life, gives us clarity and focus.”
Emy Fernandez, MBA, Certified Life Coach
