Coach Thought of the Week: It’s Optional

Coral Gables Counseling Center - Monday, September 19, 2022
By Emy Fernandez, MBA, Life Coach

We believe we HAVE to do this or that or SHOULD.

But the truth is we can choose to NOT do so.

We ALWAYS have options.

Mug that says Life Golden on top of a journal

Some examples of this may show up as:

“At work, I was moved from one department to another. I didn’t have a say in the transfer. Management decided I had to be transferred regardless of how I felt about it.”
You do have a say. You can choose to not be transferred and leave and find another job.

“I can never go on vacation because I always have to work.”
You can decide to go on vacation even if you have work.

“I always have to respond to emails from work late at night.”
You don’t have to respond to emails late at night. Even if you receive emails from work late at night, you can decide to respond in the morning.

“My husband said we had to move.”
You can decide to agree with your husband and move or not. If the decision is to move, then do so. But not feeling you HAVE to. You don’t.

“I have to make my bed every morning.”
No, you don’t. You can come to an unmade bed every night. If you don’t want to, then decide you WANT to make your bed. Not that you HAVE to.

“I should finish this project over the weekend to have it ready by Monday.”
You don’t. If you decide to work on the project over the weekend to have it ready by Monday, that’s a decision you can make.

“I have to go to the gym.”
You don’t.

“I have to lose weight.”
You don’t. Even if others say you do, you really don’t.

The truth is you don’t HAVE to ever.

You may decide to do something because you have – what you believe – are good reasons to do so. But, you can always choose not to. You have the option.

You may WANT to.
You may DECIDE to.

When we KNOW we have the freedom to choose, even if the decision is the same, our life becomes much easier and less burdensome.

It is just a thought shift, but our thoughts drive our feelings. When we make decisions feeling emotions that inspire and motivate, the actions we take around the decision move us forward with ease towards the results we are looking for.

P.S. Do you have obstacles keeping you from moving forward and taking action? Are you looking for a change? Do you want someone to guide you through your journey instead of DIYing it? Join me and get started. Learn how thinking differently creates different results. Reach out to schedule a consult and learn how we can work together. Contact info: (office) 305-445-0477, (cell) 786-623-8344, or email me at