As a therapist, I work with people from all walks of life. Some arrive in the middle of a crisis, while others are simply looking for a safe space to process life’s daily struggles. But not everyone I work with is initially looking for therapy.
I have the incredible honor of working with athletes across middle school, high school, college, and beyond. Many of these athletes, especially the young men, would never dream of stepping foot in a therapist’s office if it weren’t for the sports psychology side of my practice. They often come in motivated by a desire to increase the competitive, mental edge of their game.
But then, something really important happens: Once we build rapport, the conversation naturally shifts. The walls come down. Suddenly, we aren’t just talking about their shooting, putting game, batting averages, or race times. They start opening up about their friends, their home life, school, relationships, and the heavy pressures they carry outside of the arena.
Embracing Vulnerability
It is a process I never take for granted. Without the initial push to improve their athletic performance, many of these young men would keep their internal struggles to themselves. They aren’t ready to share these specific pressures with their parents, they worry their friends might make fun of them, and they don’t feel safe letting their guard down anywhere else. By showing up to work on their sport, they actually take a big step forward in their journey as human beings and start to embrace vulnerability.
I have had the pleasure of witnessing these transformations unfold over years—watching boys grow from ninth graders into college graduates and mature men. The way they value their personal growth and the many challenges they have overcome is amazing to see. But it also leaves me with a sobering thought: if they hadn’t found this safe space to process their world, what unhealthy coping mechanisms would they have turned to instead?
Redefining What It Means to Be Strong
Society places heavy expectations on boys and men, both on and off the field. Whether it’s to mask their pain or out-tough their struggles. But as a parent of three boys myself, I am incredibly hopeful and grateful for the shifts I am starting to notice in society.
Slowly but surely, the world is beginning to embrace the fact that men need to process, express, and feel their emotions too. We see high-profile athletes from different sports such as Michael Phelps, Noah Lyles, DeMar DeRozan, Kevin Love, Dak Prescott, Dwayne Johnson, Bubba Watson, Hoby Milner and many more speak out about their mental health struggles and the support they needed to survive and thrive.
I am constantly impressed by the courage of the young men I get to work with who have faced the discomfort of the unknown and trusted me with their story. It shows that true strength isn’t about carrying the weight of the world alone; it’s about having the bravery to unpack it.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“A man may conquer a million men in battle but one who conquers himself is, indeed, the greatest of conquerors.”
– Buddha
