Self Reflection

Coral Gables Counseling Center - Wednesday, December 15, 2021
By Katheryne Puentes, LMHC.

Self-Reflection might sound easy to do, but it’s the most challenging thing we can do.

It’s hard to focus on our thoughts and feelings about a situation. It’s hard to reflect on how we reacted in the past or how our actions impact the individuals around us daily.

It’s hard to promote change if we are hesitant to self-reflect.

It’s hard but never impossible if we provide ourselves the readiness to have this opportunity.

Self-reflection is scary for these reasons:

  • It might tell us that if we find something we don’t like, we think we are ‘wrong’ or ‘broken’ as an individual.
  • It might bring out unwanted emotions.
  •  It might start a chain of unwanted memories.

But in reality:

  • Just because we made a mistake doesn’t mean we are broken. It means we are human, and we are learning. To promote growth, we must self-reflect on ourselves. Nobody else can do this self-reflection but us.
  • Just because we express our emotions doesn’t mean we are weak. We are HUMAN, above all and everything else.
  • Our thoughts tell a story, and how we paint that picture matters. Those events happened, and there is no going back. But the real question is, how are these memories impacting you as an individual today?

Society might say that making mistakes in school, college classes, or work is forbidden because it shows we are ignorant or uneducated. Our families might become uncomfortable when we express our emotions because they feel vulnerable, making us uncomfortable to show our feelings. Or our thoughts might become our worst enemy. We need to make mistakes and learn from them. To learn, we must understand how we educate ourselves as individuals and self-reflect on what we absorbed. Therefore, there is a way to channel our thoughts and emotions to allow us to start the process of self-reflecting.

Here are some tips based on your learning style:

Kinesthetic – Role-play different situations with a family member, friend, or therapist. Preferably, someone you trust.

Visual – Journal, draw pictures, or create a PowerPoint. Put your thoughts in front of you and allow yourself to picture where you were, where you currently are, and where you want to be. This will permit you to go back and review it.

Auditory – Record yourself. Either through videotaping or a memo within your phone. Play it back later in the day, or when you go through the same situation.

These are just some examples to try, but there is also an endless supply of different techniques that might benefit you.


“Self-reflection entails asking yourself questions about your values, assessing your strengths and failures, thinking about your perceptions and interactions with others, and imagining where you want to take your life in the future.” – Robert L. Rosen