thank u, next

Coral Gables Counseling Center - Monday, January 07, 2019
By Gabriela Reyes, MFT
I can’t tell you how many times I heard someone say “I can’t wait for 2018 to be over” or the amount of memes I came across with the same theme. I feel as though 2018 was a tough year for many people and a New Year means a fresh start with new beginnings and resolutions. When the New Year is approaching, we feel full of hope and excitement for what’s to come.

Unfortunately, the gym is never more packed than it is on the first week of January, that new $30 agenda is usually only used efficiently for a month and a half, and the Sunday meal planning you promised you’d stick to rarely lasts more than two weeks. Don’t get me wrong, there are a select few who really make their resolutions a reality and it can be life changing. Key words: select few. For the rest of us, resolutions can be tough to continue after the New Year hype has died down.

This year, I invite you to do something a little differently. I want you to reflect on your year – specifically, your mistakes, hardships, heartbreaks, and loss. Sounds cynical, huh? Let me explain…

You’re still here, reading this blog. That means that no matter how hard 2018 tried to knock you down, you got right back up. We rarely decide to look back on the positives of these moments, instead letting our minds loop through these memories and feelings on ‘auto.’ When we think back on our mistakes, for example, we usually feel frustration similar to the one we felt when we initially made said mistake. When we think back on our hardships, we can spend 20 minutes complaining about the situation as if it were happening this very moment. When we think back on our heartbreak, we can still feel that ache, sometimes it can even bring us to tears.

It’s always easier to look back and retrospectively consider what you learned from the most difficult moments in life. Instead of letting our brain run on ‘auto’ we can take control and find the silver lining, no matter how small. That time you missed the deadline on a big project taught you to be more careful. Now you make it a point to double check the dates of your deadlines and add reminders in your calendar. Losing a job taught you the importance of saving enough so you have the means to make it through three months of job hunting. A failed relationship taught you to communicate what you’re feeling and trust your gut.

This New Year, I invite you to make your resolutions an inside job. 

 Learn about yourself through your life’s lessons.
Don’t let these hard times go without first taking all the positive you possibly can out of them.

thank u (for the lessons) 2018, next.

What lessons did you learn from your mistakes in 2018?