By Stephanie Baldor, B.S.
In life, we form a multitude of relationships. These people are placed in our lives one out of two ways: by chance or by choice.
The people in our lives that come by chance are typically the ones we see as family, like our parents, siblings, grandparents, etc.
Then there are those we choose to have close to us: our friends. Friends are the people that blur the lines between blood and bond. We create special relationships that are not bound to us through obligation, but pure unconditional love, support and trust for one another.
Which invites us to reflect on how the people who once lived outside our inner circle can, through shared trust, support, and meaningful connection, earn a place in the space we call family – reminding us that sometimes, our friends become the family we choose.
Per psychotherapist, Silva Neves (2024), there are three major forms of relationships: familial relationships (family), romantic (intimate) relationships, and (platonic) friendships.
The fundamental value that keeps these relationships together is mutual love and respect for one another, regardless how it’s translated.
LOVE is one of the most impactful emotions a human can experience. It is addicting and encapsulating.
It influences the choices we make, our personalities, and our sense of belonging. This is what makes this emotion so beautiful and essential in our daily lives. And, when this love goes beyond our expectations, the relationships can evolve into something far more powerful.
This is most often felt with some of our friendships. These friends understand us and our flaws better than anyone, they allow for that deeper connection that can be far more than casual companionship.
So how exactly would classifying friends as family come to be?
As defined by The Miriam-Webster Dictionary, a family is “(1) the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children.” It is also, “(2) a group of individuals living under one roof.”
However, this is a concept that is known to be subjective. Family is more than just who we live with or who our spouses and offspring are. Family is a feeling. It is what and who we make of it. Who’s to say you can’t have more than one version of family in your life?
I am someone who takes the relationships in my life very personally and once you are someone that I am close to and can trust, I consider you family. I like to say that I am blessed to have two families. The first being, by dictionary definition, my traditional immediate family consisting of my father, mother, sister, and myself. These are the individuals that raised me, taught me right from wrong, or grew up playing with and building core memories together.
Then I have my chosen family. My brothers and sisters that have gotten me through the absolute best and worst times of my life. While yes, the same can be said about my traditional family, there is something about this group, of what used to be strangers, choosing to take on life all together.
College made this especially clear. I moved to another city, hours away from home, with no family nearby. Fortunately, a few friends from home attended the same university, including my best friend and roommate. We did everything together: studying, going out, and cozy nights in.
We became each other’s safe space. Our sanctuary, our home away from home. When homesickness hit, we’d gather for what we called “family dinners,” cooking our favorite hometown meals, sharing stories, and supporting each other through every milestone and mistake. Those were my favorite nights. We leaned on one another – and we still do.
Even now, post-grad, as we navigate the uncertainty of adulthood, we continue to show up for each other.
Friends are the chosen individuals that leave imprints on us. They play essential roles in the type of people we become. The idea of “friends that become family” teaches us that blood is not always thicker than water. It teaches us that loyalty, memories, respect, and love, is far greater, whether from a relative or not. It is a reminder that bonds aren’t always inherited but can be earned.
In a world that can often feels harsh and unpredictable, our closest friends become our family. They become our anchors – offering a sense of permanence, belonging, and unconditional love that carries us through life.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“A friend is someone who helps you up when you’re down, and if they can’t, they lay down beside you and listen.” Winnie the Pooh
