What is stealing your focus?
Probably the screen you’re reading this blog on right now!
Or it could be worries about health or money?
Is it work emails … or the dog barking?
Being present in the moment is a harder and harder task these days. We need to learn to find and remove distractions. Or at least identify them.
I’m a bad listener as a husband. Weird, right?! Given my profession…
But it’s because at home, I’m on my phone. And browsing social media. And doing household tasks when my wife is speaking.
Whereas, in session with patients, I have notes … and all my focus is on the person speaking …and my phone is put away. I’m not doing other tasks simultaneously. I’m just there listening to the patient on my couch. Fully.
So whether you want to be a more present partner, or just a more mindful person, the key is to figure out what is throwing off your focus.
When I REALLY need to tune in to my wife, I start taking notes on my phone, or put it in the other room face down. When I truly want to be present during my daughter’s dance performance, I stop recording and just watch and feel it. If I want to really enjoy a nature hike, I leave the headphones and music at home.
Yes, some people multitask better than others. And yes, sometimes music or photography even deepen the mood and the moment. But I’m telling you what works for me. You need to know what works (and doesn’t) when you want to be truly “in the moment.”
And I’m giving tangible examples but truly so often the distractions are our thoughts and wandering mind. The tip for that is to narrate the experience you’re in, to yourself, as though you were describing it to someone who’s not there. For example: “I’m sitting on a warm, wooden bench. I’m feeling a breeze in my hair and can smell someone grilling meat. The birds are chirping as I look at a multicolored peacock wiggling its feathers. I can taste the morning coffee on my tongue. My sweater is grey and soft ….”
This narration technique does 3 things:
- Your brain can’t worry about X while narrating Y, so the distracting thoughts get pushed out,
- Your actions become more focused and conscious, and
- You make deeper memories because you actually paid more attention when you were having the experience.
So after you’re done reading this, take a few moments to uni-task. Do one thing. Be fully in that conversation with your friend. Just sip your coffee, no doom scrolling needed. Focus on where you are and what you’re doing. It’s scary and hard at first – then, you sink into it and find, this is how things were meant to be done. Multitasking is a distraction, and adding MORE means being LESS present and engaged.
I’ll end this with a reminder and a K.I.S.S. – Keep it simple, silly 😉
QUOTE FOR THE WEEK
“BE. HERE. NOW!” – Dr. Todd Giardina
