By Izaskun Cruz, LMFT
Emotions are built through a lifetime of experiences, yet we still get the sensation that they control us or that we are powerless. We relate to emotions as if they come from outside of us, something that happens to us rather than something that is part of us.Nevertheless, we feel them, we carry them, and we experience them, often without fully understanding what they are trying to communicate. I love to see them as the “language of the soul,” the only way the “self” has to speak to us.
Through sensations, through feelings, through the movement they create inside us, something within guides us. Feeling something and becoming the message is the path to mindful living.
If we learn to see emotions as signals, not commands, it will liberate us from identifying ourselves with what is only a message that helps us in our next step.
Let’s look at some examples and learn to listen to the messages within.
- Sadness carries a message about what matters to us. When something moves us inward, to reflect, to reconnect with the part of us that feels abandoned, sadness helps us see that maybe someone or something once had a place in our lives that we did not fully recognize at the time. Through sadness we learn to value what is no longer here and to recognize what we truly want.
- Anger, I love anger. It is a warrior that is always ready, protecting us, telling us what we don’t want to have in our lives, guiding us on where to set that boundary, where someone or something intruded into our “self” without permission, and how and when it is a moment to say stop.
- Fear is that gentle parent looking for danger to keep us protected, indicating the safer path to take, guiding our steps and moves.
What about when emotions appear in their extreme forms? Seeing them as messages would not make sense, and you are right to feel that way. Extremes often happen when we identify with the emotion instead of listening to it.
Emotions are not identities. They are signals meant to guide us.
In mindful living, emotions are not something to fight or silence. They are invitations to listen. Each one carries a message about what matters to us, what needs protection, what needs care, or what needs to be valued.
When we stop identifying with the emotion and start listening to it, something shifts inside. We realize that emotions were never meant to control us. They were always meant to guide us.
Why don’t I mention positive emotions? Because when they are here, the “self” simply enjoys. There is nothing to say. It means we have been listening and following.
Now, are you listening?
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“Dare to be different; you were born unique for a reason.”
Izaskun Cruz, LMFT
