You’re being too hard on yourself

Coral Gables Counseling Center - Wednesday, February 19, 2020
By Todd D. Giardina, PH. D

You’re being too hard on yourself.

So many of us do it. We think it keeps us focused on self improvement. But it ends up poisoning your self love.

And this makes it harder to feel love for those around you. We feel disconnected. Negative. Critical . . . of everything!

We could all do better to speak and think with more loving kindness towards others. The language we use for others affects us. Judgmental thoughts about Susie translate to similar standards for yourself. And vice versa – you’re not going to let someone else off the hook if you hold yourself to such a high standard.

Those nasty inner critical thoughts suck the fun and ruin the love!

If you are more forgiving of yourself you will be more kind and lenient with others. And the more you allow others the space to just be as they are, so you will find you’re more accepting of yourself just as you are.

This way of living, thinking and loving avoids a need for “tit for tat” and evening up the score. You’ll be less annoyed at your sister when she’s late if you allow yourself to be late on occasion. Accept that we all make mistakes or have flaws. Then we can live and let live.

Because we are not one note. Sure, you could have done X better. But you’re so great at A, B & C!

Yes, your friend Jane forgot your birthday. But she was there when you went through that tough time last month, so maybe give her some slack. Look at the bigger picture…the whole relationship.

We should love ourselves and others as whole beings. You can’t pick and choose. We are a package deal. So let’s accept that the trade offs and “flaws” are worth it when you look at the overall person.

Y’all, we’re all just doing our best, am I right?!

Do you expect too much of others?
If so, what are non-negotiable for you?
Leave your comments here.