By Maria Silvia Paoli, Certified Life Coach
Beliefs get ingrained in our thoughts – usually after a personal significant experience. It can be an everyday life event, a set of events, or a traumatic episode. Consequently, and to make sense of this experience, we create a discourse around it, that we then incorporate into our own belief system.
They become truths, our own truths. Our emotions, our worldview, or the way we conduct ourselves, respond to these past set of beliefs. These beliefs probably have served a good purpose in our lives, but with time have become obsolete. Therefore, if we want to really change, we first need to identify and question their veracity and pertinence in our present.
Many of the obstacles we encounter in life have a rooted limiting belief that lingers somewhere within us. It takes time and work to unearth them, especially when these beliefs are unconscious. Sometimes we must dig very deep into our thought process and patterns of behaviors to uncover them. There are many different strategies to achieve this.
Coaching is a proven practice in the unmasking and untangling of limiting beliefs. During the process of coaching – the clients first set goals. Then, with the guide of the coach, they explore the gap between where they are and where they want to be. During this process those set of beliefs usually come to the surface, and clients gain awareness of what is holding them back. Finally, and with the help of their coach, they start questioning and deconstructing these beliefs.
When we understand our limiting beliefs, we acknowledge how they have been shaping our decision-making process. Also, how they can be, or have already been, an obstacle for developing our potential and successful forward movement in our life. When we confront these beliefs, we break free and open the door to change – creating new and more positive or empowering beliefs.
Some examples of limiting beliefs that I have seen in my practice as a coach:
- I am not enough.
- I am not lovable.
- No one could ever understand it.
- If I show how I feel people will see me as a weak person.
- I have bad luck.
- I overwhelm people If I show that I care.
- If I don’t do things perfectly, I am a failure.
- I have to make people happy.
- With my actions I can control how others feel.
- I am too old to change my life.
- It’s bad to feel angry.
Pause and reflect. What are some limiting beliefs that may be coming up for you that are creating obstacles in your life?
