Is a New You Really Necessary?

Coral Gables Counseling Center - Wednesday, January 22, 2020
By Mirta Pont, LCSW,

Certified EMDR Therapist

Happy New Year! How many times are we all going to hear and say that?

Worse yet — How many New Years’ resolutions have people made that most likely won’t be kept?

How many self-help books is everyone going to read in an attempt to perfect, rectify, modify, or expel some kind of unacceptable behavior, pattern or perceived defect?

Well, I say be yourself.

Be your authentic self. Whoever and whatever that may be or look like.

As Brene Brown expressed in her Ted Talks, that’s the best person we can be: ourselves! She talks about the courage to be vulnerable, which makes us connect with each other, with the human race. Now, some of you may say, “what if I don’t like who I am?,” or “what if I think I should be better?” My answer is therapy is a great start to learn how to begin respecting and liking yourself (especially if that’s the goal).

Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself in the sense of learning a new language, for example, or taking up meditating in order to deal with anxiety. These things would enhance your life. It’s important to differentiate between accepting yourself (strengths and weaknesses) and twisting yourself into a pretzel in trying to reach unrealistic goals.

Shame is quashed when we connect with another person by sharing something true of ourselves. Many people feel that if someone really knew them or saw them in their most embarrassing or worst moment they would know they’re different and would not want to be connected with them. The opposite happens to be true because we can ALL connect with the embarrassing and stressful moments in life.

When I think of the start of 2020, I encourage everyone to decide whether a new you is really necessary, or wouldn’t it be easier to embrace your authentic, imperfect, beautiful and funny self.

How can you embrace your authenticity?
Do you have a difficult time embracing your imperfections?
Leave your comments here.