Let Go and Let God

Coral Gables Counseling Center - Wednesday, August 24, 2022
By Lucia Fernandez Silveira, LMFT

Change is such a constant in our lives…whether we like it or not.

Many years ago I decided to embrace change and look forward to it as there’s no use resisting it.  In the process I learned that navigating change with intention sets us on a path of wonder and curiosity rather than holding on to dear life to things we are familiar and comfortable with.  “Life begins at the end of our comfort zone.” ( Tony Robbins).  I have told myself this as a reminder to make peace with change.

box wrapped ribbon packed with love

So here I am on the transition of sending my last child off to college.  I have six kids and the eldest is 39.  It dawned on me that I have had a child to take care of at home for 39 years.  This is the first time in all these years all my kids are adults and on their own journey.

I’m like, wow! What am I supposed to do with myself when so much of my identity has been wrapped around the emotional needs, schedules and activities of my children!?

I am so grateful for the experience in raising them.  They have brought me so much joy and wonder.

Now, as I “Let go” of my youngest going off to London to study abroad (and my other daughter is moving to England as well!). I find myself wanting to make sure I sort through the transition in a way that does not feed a void or create anxiety (because that’s what I instinctively think of and feel). THIS is the work in progress.  It’s what I think of to embrace change.

Letting go of my kids means

  • letting go of fears and anxieties that come from the unknown;
  • letting go of thinking they are my identity; and
  • letting go of thinking I’m stuck in the void.

And instead,

  • finding purpose in making room for me to nurture my spirituality;
  • finding purpose in creativity;
  • finding purpose in self care;
  • finding purpose in friendships; and
  • finding purpose in my relationship with my husband.

And, of course continue to enjoy my other kids who are here in town.

This journey is about me being there for myself in a way that opens up my heart and mind to receive the joy that lies ahead…in the unknown.  We never stop being parents of course, but worrying and holding on and feeding loss and fear is for sure only destructive.

Sure, I can wind myself up with concerns of the unknown.  But why would I do that to myself.  So when those thoughts start creeping in I am mindful to replace them with thoughts that bring me something to look forward to.

And this is a choice.  I choose to fully embrace this time of our lives and celebrate the opportunity that my daughters have to explore new ventures.

I celebrate the journey we had in raising our kids, and I celebrate life.

Now I’m gonna go cry a little too… ‘cause I really have loved being a mommy.

So I say a little prayer…
Thank you Lord for this gift of life.  Please accompany, protect and guide my adult children in their own journey of life as you have done so in mine.

Let go and let God.