Coach Thought of the Week: Getting Out of Your Own Way

Coral Gables Counseling Center - Monday, November 21, 2022
By Emy Fernandez, MBA, Life Coach

Those who know me, know I love tennis!

picture with Director/Owner

Earlier this year, I was coaching with a tennis pro when I decided I didn’t want to continue working with him.  I felt he wasn’t “running me enough.”  I called the Director/Owner of the program (instead of talking to the pro).  I told her I was unhappy because he “wasn’t running me enough.”  Of course, she had no idea what I meant by that because that’s not a thing in tennis.  I went on to explain to her what I meant.  He was feeding more balls to the other players (who were younger) than he was to me.

After some back and forth with the Director, I didn’t continue playing with the pro.  This meant I had to discontinue playing tennis on Wednesday nights.  The night he coached.  Instead of 4 days a week I would only be able to play 3 days.

But I felt so hurt and angry by that one night of tennis I couldn’t bring myself to continue playing with him.  This cost me an extra night of fun and training.  Remember, I had not even talked to him about how I felt.

After a few months of reflection and self-coaching, I realized I reacted because of a thought – “He’s not running me enough.” A thought that wasn’t even true.  I got in my own way of growing my tennis game.

Fast forward to today.

I hired him again.  He is the only pro I am currently training with.  When I reflected and allowed myself to put my anger aside, I realized this pro is excellent and one of the best I’ve ever played with.

He takes the time to explain in detail how to improve our individual strokes and how to play more strategically.  He doesn’t let us run and hit the ball just to make it over the net.

Now I see this was why “he wasn’t running me.”  Not because I couldn’t keep up.  But because he just wanted me to grow into a better player.

I share this because sometimes we are blinded by thoughts, we believe are true.  We get in our own way and miss the opportunities.

Even if we have thoughts, we really believe are true, take a minute, pause, and reflect – “Is this thought serving me?  Is this thought getting in my way of moving forward?”  If not, decide to think something that does.
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