How To Make That Special Someone, Fall In Love With You

Coral Gables Counseling Center - Wednesday, February 24, 2021
By Nicole Herdocia-Oria , RMFTI, MS

No, I’m not talking about making your hot co-worker or classmate fall in love with you. I’m talking about making the MOST special person in your life fall in love with you. I’m talking about lovely, uniquely imperfect, you.

So many of us struggle with self-love. What is self-love, and how can we get some?

heart in hands

According to Dr. Jeffrey Bornstein, President/ CEO of the Brain & Behavior Research Foundation, Self Love is:

“having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.”

Well stated Doc.

So how do we start falling in love with ourselves?

Stop comparing yourself to others.

Society has engrained competition in us thus, making it natural to want to compete with others. There’s only one you, so this is actually pointless and another obstacle in your journey towards self-love. Focus on you and your own growth independently of where others are in their lives. It will set you free and keep you focused on what truly important to you.

Adopt healthy habits of self-care.

When you take better care of yourself and your basic needs, you are already practicing self-love. Nourish your body and soul with healthy eats, movement, rest, intimacy, relaxation, and healthy friendships. Making time to decompress can help you recharge your batteries to be a better version of yourself.

Stop caring what others think of you.

You can’t make everyone happy, so stop wasting your time trying to. You can be the juiciest, most delicious orange in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who just hates oranges…. So screw them. Do you.

It’s ok to make mistakes.

In fact, they’re good! Mistakes are what keeps us learning and driven to try again. Embrace them and grow from them. Relieve some internal pressure and cut yourself some slack!

Love the skin you’re in.

The way you look doesn’t determine your value. Wear what makes you feel good, confident, and comfortable. Love your body!

Put yourself first! 

Say “no,” and don’t feel guilty! People can get used to putting others’ well-being before their own and, that’s ok under certain circumstances but not at the expense of your own peace and well-being. Setting healthy boundaries can make all the difference.

Make the best of everything.

Try to notice at least one small thing to be grateful for every day. Gratitude gives you perspective and helps you embrace what’s going well in your life, making it easier to make the best of whatever gets thrown your way.

Be nice to you!

Speak kindly to yourself, especially in thought. Whatever we tell ourselves, we may start to believe and allow it to define us. So, speak highly of yourself to you!

Celebrate any and all wins, big or small.

Got a good grade? Celebrate it. Got a “buy one get one” candle deal? Party it up! Cooked a mean spaghetti dinner? Woot woot! Be proud of your achievements! Celebrate yourself!

Be more mindful of you.

People who have more self-love tend to be more aware of what they think, feel, and what they actually want instead of what others may want for them.

Love what makes you unique!

Embrace and love the things that make you different. This is what makes you special.

Self-love is not only feeling good about yourself (although that’s wonderful in and of itself); It’s being appreciative of who you are, your spiritual, emotional, psychological growth, and the journey towards loving yourself.


“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
-Dr. SeussWORD YOU