As I was sitting in front of the computer, not sure what to write about on Men’s Health, I received this picture from my son. He is vacationing at the beach with his wife, two sons and nephew (my three grandsons). I was so happy to see him enjoying himself with the family.
I then realized there is so much information about women and their struggles to find life balance in their careers, marriage, and children. However, working with men, I have seen the struggles they experience with the same pressures, yet there is not as much information for them on life balance.
Historically, men have been given the role of just being a provider with no interest – or need – for life balance.
However, today they also want to spend time with their families and share the caretaker role with their partners.
Men want time with their families while contributing to the household income, just as women do.
Below is a list of recommendations I give my clients that help create the life balance they want.
- Work IS part of life. If you try to balance work and life – life will always, always lose out. Instead, include work as part of life. Then, try to find some balance under the umbrella of life, knowing some days will be good at work and others will be good at home. And, sometimes, the stars align, and you have a perfect day at home and work. Jackpot!
- Create boundaries. You MUST know what your boundaries are. For example, there are some deadlines at work you don’t have control over but most of them you do. Don’t over-promise. Instead, underpromise and overdeliver. You don’t have to get documents to clients “by the end of the day” every time. You can promise it to them in three days and overdeliver by giving it to them in two, if possible. If not, three it is. Overpromising is not sustainable – especially if you’re trying to find balance in your life.
- Prioritize self-care. In my work, I have found men are better at prioritizing their self-care than women. But, mostly, they work out. I would also consider adding time for just pausing and sitting alone with uhh – yes – the F word…Feelings. Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation, deep breathing, or sitting quietly and unplugged for 5 to 10 minutes, can help reduce stress and improve focus.
- Manage your time. You are balancing your life, NOT work, AND life. (See point 1 above.) Managing your time will help you feed all areas of your life. Be intentional so you can find the balance you need to spend time with your family. Make sure you put it all on your calendar, including family and self-care time.
- Seek support. If you are overwhelmed and stressed, reach out to friends, family, a life coach, or a mental health professional. Strength is knowing when it’s time to seek support AND using it. Women know this.
These suggestions will not lead to a perfect life balance because life happens. But, they will lead to a sustainable, happier, and a better quality of life.
