Are You Tired of Having the Relationshits…???

Coral Gables Counseling Center - Wednesday, June 15, 2022
By Nicole Herdocia-Oria , RMFTI, MS

There are various benefits for men from being in a healthy relationship. Their well-being is positively influenced by healthy relationships not just emotionally, but physically and mentally as well.stickshift in car

For example, men in healthy relationships tend to live longer than those who are not. There is security and protection in relationships which can help reduce depression, anxiety, loneliness, suicidality, and substance abuse in men.

This is due to men adhering to those pesky traditional masculine roles indoctrinated by society almost from birth. Some of these traditionally masculine traits are:

  • needing to be in control,
  • having to remain emotionally stoic,
  • never asking for help,
  • dismissing mental health as an influence on life, and
  • fear of being seen as weak.

“There’s no crying in baseball.” Ah… but it’s okay to feel stuff fellas. Dare I say it’s also even OK to cry. Tun tun tun!

Of course, this would require you boys to be vulnerable.

By the way, as a red-blooded coed attracted to men, I’ll tell you now… it is unbelievably HOT when a man is in touch with himself; and can be strong enough to be vulnerable and ask for help when he needs it. Gah! But I digress…

Obviously, there are always challenges we face within the trenches of a long-term relationship. Some conflicts include

  • financial struggles,
  • parenting stressors,
  • infidelity,
  • health issues, and
  • sexual issues

to name a few.

I get it, these issues can get overwhelming and make it very difficult to not only grow a relationship but even to maintain one. Learning and understanding relationship skills can help turn your “relationshits” into positive health benefitting, meaningful partnerships.

Relationship Skills to Learn:

  1. Improve communication – By identifying and understanding your communication style, as well as your partner’s, you not only know yourself and your partner better, but your entire dynamic can improve because the communication will improve.
  2. Know your needs as well as your partner’s – Figure out your love languages! Only then will you be able to properly communicate them to your partner. And, knowing your partner’s love languages as well, you can strive to meet their needs too! Who is selfish? Not you Baby!
  3. Setting Boundaries – Let your partner know what is and isn’t acceptable behavior. It can be challenging, but being open, honest, and respectful when setting healthy boundaries can strengthen relationships.
  • Setting healthy boundaries is not about criticism, judgment, or blame.
  • Healthy boundaries are about understanding limits for yourself and your partner and feeling secure and valued regardless of the differences.
  1. Expectations vs. Reality – This is a tough one because deciphering the difference between them can be challenging. Communicate to your partner what you expect from them and the relationship instead of hoping they align, which would most likely result in disappointment if they don’t.

Instead of just hoping your partner gets there, give them the road map! To provide the road map, reflect and figure yourself out first. If you don’t, you may not even know where “there” is. Once you know where to go, you can help your partner get there faster? It’s efficient. I don’t want someone to drive me around blind, not knowing where to turn. If you can figure out where you want to go first and you give them directions, they’ll get there faster!

Bonus: This also applies to sex. You’re welcome.

Given the positive influence of healthy relationships on mental health, it is crucial to develop positive, healthy relationship skills to help alleviate stress; and better understand yourself and improve your relationship dynamics.

We’ll go over these relationship skills in-depth and more at our Tough Love Retreat (insert shameless plug here):

We invite you to (Re) treat yourself. Join us for some fun and helpful guidance to have better relationships with others, and more importantly, with yourself.

For more info, email us at:

Or follow us on Instagram: @toughloveretreat


“Happily ever after is not a fairytale, it’s a choice.”

-Fawn WeaverFOREST